So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
