I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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