I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
