marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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