never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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