If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
