am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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