how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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