You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm drive I can fine osifer
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
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