Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
