Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
