haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
