It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
