isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you win again, gameday.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
