I heard we made out
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
