Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize