Small penises have feelings too.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
