My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
