LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
