You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
