I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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