Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
