oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
