i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
