I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
