Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize