we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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