He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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