Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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