Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
