I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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