JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
should my penis look like a turkey
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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