If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
no you cant smoke seaweed
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
