i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
