I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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