The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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