i just google imaged poop.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
