I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Pooping to opera.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
