the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i love accidental penises.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
