OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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