Only a mothe r could love this liver
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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