Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
