id be glad to
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Duck Duck Cougar?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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