She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
