So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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