I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
