so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
