So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
