Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
