I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
