kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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