Where is the hickey?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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