i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
