Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
