Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Your cock deserves a montage
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
