There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
