you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
