I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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