You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
not ubering you a puppy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
